By Naomi Njeri – Research Officer and Hannah Simba – Associate Research Scientist
Every day more than 800 million Women of Reproductive age (WRA) are engaged in diverse roles like customer service, working in the field, studying, farming, managing households, enforcing laws, and more all while experiencing internal bleeding and muscle contractions often painful enough to register on pain scales. This, often stigmatized and mostly whispered occurrence is not a rare condition but a natural biological phenomenon known as menstruation. Menstruation happens monthly (except during pregnancy) for about 40 years in a woman’s life, averaging approximately 500 menstrual cycles from puberty to menopause. Women navigate periods while juggling other aspects of their lives, yet society expects them to keep it entirely hidden, never mentioning it, and certainly never letting it affect their performance or mood.
Behind these statistics are the women you care about: partners, daughters, sisters, friends, and colleagues navigating an experience that shapes approximately 6.5 years of their lives while mostly receiving little to no support. The question is not whether the women in your life menstruate. The question is which side of this experience are you on? The side that adds to the burden, or the side that helps lift it?
As a man you have the power to shift what historically has been an isolating experience into one marked by understanding and support. In this piece, we discuss a practical guide to a man’s role in creating a period-friendly world.
Learn the basics
Periods are a natural biological process. Every month, if an egg is not fertilized, the uterus sheds its lining. This is period blood and it’s not “dirty” it is just normal blood like any other oozing from a cut/wound. Learning the basics is key; the average cycle length is between 21-35 days and lasts 3-7 days, most women experience premenstrual symptoms (PMS), and why some days are heavier than others. Get facts from trusted sources like the World Health Organization (WHO), national health institutions, or health care professionals and not unverified forums or social media pages that may spread misinformation.
Use your words directly and respectfully, avoiding code words
Using terms like “period,” “pads” “menstruation,” or “menstrual cycle” are not taboo and saying them helps normalize the period discussions. Direct language without lowering your voice or looking uncomfortable communicates that you view menstruation as a normal and a healthy part of life rather than a taboo subject.
A survey conducted by ‘Clue’, a menstruation app, and the International Women’s Health Coalition revealed that there are over 5,000 euphemisms and slang words for Menstruation. 78% of the participants in the study believe that slang words are used when talking about periods. The diverse euphemisms and code words seemingly harmless can perpetuate period stigma because language choices impact perception. For example, notice how different these statements sound:
“I want to buy pads/tampons” versus “I want to buy ‘mkate ya wasichana’ (Ladies’ bread) or “that thing” used by women”
“Women are always moody because of their time of the month” versus “Women experience premenstrual symptoms which may affect their mood”
Offer support
You can offer emotional, physical or financial support. Hormonal fluctuations during a menstrual cycle are real and can affect mood. However, that doesn’t invalidate her feelings. Sometimes she just needs empathy for instance “that sounds really tough” goes much further than “it can’t be that bad”. If you share a living space, offer to prepare a hot water bottle for cramps or fetch pain medication. Also know her preferred brands and types of products just in case she needs them and can’t get them herself. Remember, period products are essential health items and not luxury goods. Help when you can.
Avoid comparisons and assumptions
Every woman’s experience is different. Period cramps can range from mild discomfort to pain comparable to heart attacks. Refrain from offering remedies, telling her how she should feel or comparing her experience to other women. Statements like “my sister just deals with it” invalidates her experience and diminishes chances of her seeking help.
Ask questions, and be ready to listen
“I don’t know anything about that” is not an excuse or the end of the conversation, use it as an opportunity to learn. Learning about menstruation takes away misconceptions about menstruation. Here are examples of common misconceptions men have about periods and what is actually true.
Ditch the misconceptions
Misconception: All women have their menstruation on the 28th day of every month.
Reality: Menstrual cycles vary considerably, ranging from 21-35 days for different women, and a menstrual cycle does not automatically start on the 1st day of every month.
Misconception: You can hold a period in.
Reality: Menstrual fluid flow is an involuntary blood flow from the uterus through the vagina, unlike urine from the bladder, which can be controlled by sphincter muscles.
Misconception: Tampon/pad sizes relate to vagina size
Reality: Tampon/pad sizes indicate levels of absorbency and not fit size. Some people have heavier flows than others, and most experience varying flow intensity throughout their cycle.
Misconception: Period cramps aren’t that painful/Period pain is psychological
Reality: Cramps feel like throbbing/shooting pains or a constant ache ranging from mild discomfort to debilitating pain. For severe period cramps cases medical advice is necessary.
Misconception: It’s okay to ask someone if they’re on their period whenever they seem upset
Reality: This question typically implies that someone’s feelings are irrational or invalid due to hormones which is dismissive and therefore inappropriate to ask.
Think beyond cramps and cravings
Being period-friendly is not just about helping out with cramps and buying snacks for cravings (though those are great!). It is about dismantling the stigma that has surrounded menstruation for centuries, correcting harmful ideas, and showing that you are willing to be part of a more respectful and supportive culture.
When you as a father are comfortable buying pads for your daughter at a local store, you’re building a period-friendly world. When you as a brother stop crude period jokes, you’re building a period-friendly world. When you as a husband or partner create a safe and supportive environment for the woman you love, you’re building a period-friendly world, and when you as a man educate yourself and others about menstrual health you’re building a period-friendly world.